How often do you say or hear different versions of the phrase “Good job, you are so smart!”? Most likely a lot. After all, it is an extremely normal thing for everyone to say. What many parents do not realize is that, by praising their children’s “smartness”, they reinforce the idea that the outcome of their task is a result of their intelligence.
There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that, right? But what if there was a better way to validate children for a job well-done, whether it’s completing chores, finishing homework, or receiving good grades on a test? In another article, we have given five tips to keep your child motivated, our first tip being to praise your child’s effort. Here, we have compiled research to more thoroughly explain why different versions of the phrase “Good job, you must have worked really hard!” is the more effective alternative praise.
Fixed Mindset: The Cons of Praising Intelligence
Have you ever witnessed a child fail a task and then feel too discouraged to attempt the task again? Children commonly feel helpless after failure, especially if they have a difficult time understanding a concept. These children likely have fixed mindsets, where they feel like their ability is limited by their intelligence. People with fixed-mindsets think that people are born with a certain amount of intelligence that cannot be changed.
Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck’s experiences and studies can help us understand the fixed mindset concept. When Dr. Dweck taught elementary and middle school students, she found that students who were rewarded for completing math problems did not actively improve their skill. Dr. Dweck later also conducted a study with junior high students where she found that students with a fixed mindset cared more about their grades than actually learning the material. In fact, they actually thought that working hard meant that they weren’t smart enough! The resulting grades of the fixed-mindset students actually declined over the course of two years. Dr. Dweck later found that the negative effects of a fixed mindset extends to the workplace and even in relationships!
The negative effects of reinforcing a fixed mindset are why different versions of the phrase “Good job, you are so smart!” can be harmful. Praising children’s intelligence can lead them to value their natural intelligence and thus develop a fixed mindset, which leads them to think that their outcomes are results of their intelligence, not results of their effort. Dr. Dweck’s findings not only tell us that praising intelligence can lead to a fixed mindset, they also tell us that people with a fixed mindset (1) do not work as hard as much as those with a growth mindset, and (2) often do not value the process of learning as those with a growth mindset.
Growth Mindset: The Pros of Praising Effort
Unlike those with fixed mindsets, people with growth mindsets focus more on their effort than their intelligence. People with growth mindsets believe their ability and intelligence can progress. In fact, remember the elementary and middle school students in Dr. Dweck’s class? When she taught some students that it was their lack of effort that caused them to fail their math problems, those students tried again and again. They ended up not only able to solve the problems they got wrong but also even more difficult problems! And remember how the junior high students with fixed mindsets got worse grades over the course of two years? The grades of growth-minded students actually improved over that time.
Not only can a growth mindset teach children resilience, it can also motivate them to do better in school. Dr. Dweck gathered students who were struggling with math and had them read and discuss an article called You Can Grow Your Brain, which teaches the students to have a growth mindset. The teachers of those students reported a 27% increase in motivation as a result!
It turns out that the reason why some children give up when facing difficulty and why other children keep trying to learn has less to do with talent and more to do with why they believed they had failed. Praising effort helps children adopt a growth mindset because growth mindset is all about making progress through effort, which is something within their control. Thus, when parents praise their child for their effort, the child can recognize that they can improve by trying harder! Not only can praising your children’s hard work motivate them to learn more, it can even give them the resilience necessary to get back up when facing failure.
What Should We Do?
It seems like a small thing, but if parents can recondition themselves to avoid intelligence-based praises such as “Your grade was great! You must be really smart!” and give effort-based praises such as “Your grade was great! You must have worked really hard!” whenever their child does a good job, they can make a more positive impact on their child’s approach to learning. Try to avoid telling stories about the gifted genius or precocious prodigy. Instead, tell stories about someone who fell in love with their passion and worked really hard for their achievements. Hopefully by rewarding their hard work, your child will be less discouraged in the face of difficulty and be motivated to keep learning!
About the Author: Allan Han, MA is a writer and educator with over six years of teaching experience in teaching K-12 students fundamental English, fundamental Math, SAT writing, and high school literature. He received his Master's Degree in English Instruction at NYU and formerly taught in LaGuardia High School in the city of New York.
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